Engineered By The Israel Lobby: Evil Zionist Volcom™

The Evil Zionist Lobby is buying and paying its way to a sick wardrobe for the IDF’s elite alpine commandos.

Posted on February 26 at Israellycool.

Somebody get DoucheBlogger™ on the horn, stat! I’ve got a hot lead.

You remember Evil Zionist Streetlights™? Pfff…mere child’s play.

Evil Zionist Crop Circles™? Small potatoes.

Evil Zionist Shoes™? Puh-leez.

I’m going to “go with my gut” that this one is the biggest one yet to be bought and paid for engineered by the Israel lobby: Evil Zionist Volcom™. (a.k.a. Evil Zionist “Modern Lifestyle Brand That Embodies The Creative Spirit Of Youth Culture”)

Let’s examine the evidence:

EXHIBIT A

Coincidence? Hardly.

EXHIBIT B

According to Volcom’s Facebook page, “The company was founded on liberation, innovation and experimentation while remaining dedicated to the breakdown of established traditions.”

The IDF was clearly founded on liberation, and tries to remain as innovative and experimental as possible, to stay ahead of Israel’s enemies.

And one of Tzahal’s most hallowed traditions is “shvirat distance” – literally the breaking of formal distance between soldiers and commanders at the end of a training course, when the commanders invite their soldiers to call them by their first names. It is a tradition based on breaking the long-established tradition of military formality.

EXHIBIT C

According Volcom’s Wikipedia page, the company’s target market is involved in the following “four key youth and lifestyle sports”:

Surfing

Skateboarding

Motocross

Snowboarding

EXHIBIT D

And who shares the very same slopes (Mt. Hermon) with these snowboarders? That’s right, The ‘Alpinistim’: The IDF’s elite alpine winter-climate warfare unit.

All the pieces fit.

Case closed.

Going…


Going…

Gone.

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